"We both know that I'm training to be a cage fighter."

Parents can be such a drag. You know, sometimes all you want to do is keep up the appearance that you're a jetsetting, Nike-sponsored tennis player, and your folks stand in your way. Thus, you have no choice but to maul them to death:

But when Blackwell's parents - retired accountant Brian Blackwell, 71, and his wife Jacqueline, 60 - prevented him securing the money he needed to keep up his story, he beat them with a claw hammer and stabbed them up to 30 times with a kitchen knife at their £350,000 bungalow in the affluent village of Melling, on Merseyside.

What drove him to do this? Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Some of the diagnostic criteria for this mental disorder are illusions of grandiosity and self-importance; obsession with affluence, success, and sexual performance; and agility with clawhammers. You can find out if you're suffering from NPD here. I know I'm most certainly not--it just seems that way because I'm wildly successful and a really great lay, to boot.