Christianty & Crime...This Time Not About Meth, Sorry

The dumbest meme floating around the interwebs these days claims that Christianity has made America a less civilized country. Earlier this week, Drudge picked up a Times of London a story which itself originated with an article in Journal of Religion & Society by one Gregory S. Paul of Baltimore. Now bloggers and other denizens of the electronic media are running wild with it.

By now, you’re used to this kind of argument. Find something about America that makes it different from European countries—less soccer, more guns, etc.—and claim that this is what leads to America’s high crime rates. The most important part of this kind of argument is to absolutely ignore demography. Which is to say, ignore the totally obvious fact Europe and the United States have very different populations—that the U.S. is much more racially diverse than Europe, and this is not unrelated to U.S. crime rates.

For a very blunt and clear headed explanation of this, click through to Steve Sailer’s blog.

And The Winner For Best Supporting Drug In A Hostage Situation Goes To...

I feel like our crystal meth obsession (really addictive stuff, huh?) has finally caught its white whale. [Newsday via TMFTML]

Not So Great Moments In Romance # 648238

Glasgow - 23 year old Subhaan Younis made the mistake of thinking that all a young lady looks for in a man is a mobile phone filled with snuff images. At least we now know who has been downloading all those Iraq beheading videos:

The incident arose out of a series of misunderstandings. Both had been engaged in a conversation about the Iraq War and he said he would show her something which would cause her sleepless nights and her reply was 'Aye right'.

The young lass did indeed lose sleep over the video - so much so in fact that she had Younis arrested and banged up for sixty days.

Remember guys that it's much safer to show Japanese ass eel porn to that special girl. Save the decapitations for the second or third date.

Beheading video man sent to jail (BBC)

Granny Grave Robbers Nicked

What's an animal rights activist to do? You want people to stop breeding guinea pigs for experimentation, but the protests are going nowhere and all the living people you've intimidated refuse to budge. The only sensible thing to do then is dig up the nearest corpse and see where that gets you.

Sounds a little muddle-headed no? The odd thing is that it works.

Following the theft of their dead grandmother from her place of (almost) final rest the Hall family from Staffordshire closed down their farm after sticking out six years of abuse.

Despite the guinea pigs being saved the old dear's bones failed to materialise, but she's a step closer to home after police arrested four people on suspicion of conspiracy to blackmail.

The full sorry tale (BBC)

Dine-n-Dump-n-Dash

Do Not Try This In Manhattan (OK For Outer-Boroughs):

John Muia, 30, of Jersey City, was sentenced to 90 days in jail for walking out without paying after ordering several expensive meals at high-class restaurants in Weehawken.

But he reportedly won't do any additional jail time for crime No. 2: Leaving feces wrapped in a napkin on his seat.

He's a real party pooper [NJ.com]

Blottered Goes Brown

"It was not mud," the representative said.

Murray State fraternity members get humanly wasted, wipe with room towels at a retreat.

Young defecationists set fire to New Zealand school and leave 'gang colors' with the writing on the wall.

Substitute teacher in Wichita fired after making kids clean up unclaimed poopie in the back of the room.

Drunk woman is arrested and responds by losing her shit and throwing it all over her prison cell.

Church burglar can't crack safe, takes crap instead.

Ass Clown College

"Criminal tampering in Parmelee Hall - someone smeared feces on the handrail in the basement some time last night."
Campus Blotter [Colorado State]

Hurricane Labs

Did you know...

"JUST ABOUT EVERYONE ASSOCIATED WITH GOVERNMENT THESE DAYS IS ON METHAMPHETAMINE."

I'm sure you've guessed it but now we have scientific theory to broaden the claim. See, it's all these super meth labs in Mexico that are creating toxic spill-off into the ocean killing phytoplankton and soon all the surface water will reach high temps (or completely evaporate!) and we'll all be living in a storm-filled world like Venus and then no amount of federal aid is going to keep us from the hell of Jaws. Or something like that.

Illicit Drug Labs Cause Hurricanes Katrina and Rita [alt.true-crime via #1HS]

Don't Fuck With The Hmongs

Chai Soua Vang, a Hmong immigrant truck driver, was found guilty of shooting and killing six deer hunters in Wisconsin's hearty north woods after alleged racial harassment by the victims. It's hard to believe all-American sportsmen in Wisconsin with the taste of deer blood on their tongues would use such slurs but there's no doubt now that Vang is headed up a river he won't return from.

Hmong immigrant convicted of murdering 6 deer hunters [CNN]
Previously: Don't Fuck With The Wongs

Hands On Some Hard Luck

It takes a lot of physical and mental preparation to enter the world-famous Hands on a Hard Body competition where contestants try to win a pick-up truck by seeing who can keep a hand on it the longest. Some people pass out, some people start singing songs to the sweet baby Jesus, some people shit their pants, some just up and quietly walk away to find the nearest K-Mart. That's what Richard Vega did at the start of day three to take himself out of the competition. Then he took a 12-gauge shotgun from the store and blew his brains out. He'll never win that damn truck now. From the Austin Statesman:

The 24-year-old walked away about 6 a.m., politely excusing himself just before a scheduled 15-minute break for competitors, a witness said.

Witnesses said Vega went directly to a Kmart across the street, threw a trash can through a window and rushed into the store.

"I saw the big trash can go in. He chunked it through the glass, and he went right after it," said Dru Laborde, a program director for KYKX radio and a media participant in the contest. "It was the most surreal thing I've ever seen in my life."

###

Mike Maris, a contest judge, said that Vega was acting normally and that he thought Vega would be one of the top two or three finishers.

"He handled himself very well. He was very calm," Maris said.

Ginger Nimmons, another judge, said: "Typically . . . you don't normally start getting the serious hallucinations until a little bit later, especially somebody so young and in good shape."

24-year-old shoots himself in store after quitting truck contest [Austin Statesman, reg. req.]
Truck contest hopeful kills self in East Texas [Houstin Chronicle]

Fugitive Tallchief Walks Small

"I've learned how to not have so many close friends, so I don't get asked all the questions," she said. "It's a lonely life, being a fugitive. And I certainly don't go to, you know, book clubs and, you know, cake sales and stuff. I don't have coffee morning with the girls."

That sounds a lot like us, but we didn't steal an armored truck in front of Circus Circus with $2 million 12 years ago and flee to Europe. Like all good stories involving Indians and casinos, Heather C. Tallchief turned herself in the other day and hopes to get a light sentence with some Hollywood money on the side. Thanks for the tip, Dana

Norwegian Goods

Today's featured article on Wikipedia is an interesting one: The Krag-Petersson rifle. It's an oldie but goodie from Norway, an extremely rare antique firearm used only by the Royal Norwegian Navy, to hunt whales presumably.

Speaking of antiques, I think police departments should do the same as the sports teams that have old-timers day and wear vintage uniforms. Nothing would scare a bank-robber more than looking at the business end of a bayoneted rifle in a bull market. And for something more recent and local to New York, how about Early 70's Day for the NYPD? Let's bring back a real man's stache and the "green and whites" of Plymouth Fury's.

HEY WANG, WHAT'S WITH THE PICTURES? IT'S A DOCTOR'S OFFICE
Chest surgeon in Tokyo photographs nude female patients for personal use, racks up 4 year prison sentence

Sigma Nude Dudes

Must be a slow news decade in Lawrence, KS since they seem to be covering a fraternity losing its house like it's OJ Simpson breaking into the Watergate hotel to molest little boys with Michael Jackson in the middle of a war zone hurricane. Watch this 6News clip and hold your bong hit as the drama unfolds before your eyes. No, it's not a campus tv station. Ending still shot is a beaut.
Sigmu Nu president: Appeal possible [LJWorld]

FEMALE COLLEGE STUDENT IN MICHIGAN BLOWS .22 AND TRIES TO SLEEP IT OFF
No word if she blew anything else

Team Blottered Live Blogs Forensic Files on a Friday Night

10:17 Apparently one in three murderers own a cat. Pet hairs are now another weapon that forensic scientists can use to investigate criminal activity.

10:25 Blotterina comments to me, "that's another fuckin' reason you don't date girls who have cats."

10:34 I've had enough. We're going out for drinks.

"Purr-fect Match" - The Shirley Duguay Case [Court TV]

DRUNK MAN CAN'T DECIDE:
HOLIDAY INN OR OUT
See also: stick fight at Melon's Deli, possible narcotics activity outside Spend-A-Buck, lots of loud parties and intoxicated people, rash of bad phone calls, abandoned juveniles, carton of cigarettes stolen from Man-O-War Express (only in Kentucky), and some jackass left a deer leg lying on the back porch causing smell on Locust Street.

THIEF PICK-POCKETS AN ENTIRE DALLAS SUBURB IN LESS THAN A WEEK
Gets away with cash, video game system, stamps, stereo system, speakers, stereo/CD player, amplifier, tools, baseball equipment, welder and pressure washer, wallet, and lawn equipment.

DEMENTED MAN ON THE LOOSE IN CALIFORNIA IS "THREATENING"
Also, at 1:55 p.m. yesterday, a caller from Easy Street asked for extra patrols in the area after outdoor furniture and other items in the yard had been vandalized.

TORONTO GUN VIOLENCE ON THE RISE: URBAN CANADA NO DIFFERENT THAN DETROIT
"It's the gangsterism of the capitalist system laid bare"

INTER-FAITH INTERSECTION AIMS TO SAVE LIVES AND SOULS
Largely ignored death-trap to become largely ignored speed-trap

ROAMING ANIMALS CAPTURE CONTROL OF MONTANA IN "CUJO" COUNTY
Dumped animals roam, eat squirrels, chase deer and children.